I’m going to share a piece from my personal journal (2011) with you, so that you can see why I’m determined to bring you to the place where we worship God in Spirit & in Truth together.
“What’s the point?
Whenever I read the Scriptures, I’m getting frustrated and discouraged.
God, please help me.
I’m inadequate in every area of my life. My heart is heavy and hurts.
How do I get to where I become the godly wife, mother, daughter I desire to be? …
I feel like I’m already giving everything I can yet there is nothing to show.
PLEASE help me God.“
Devoted yet …
Discouragement, guilt, and increasing doubts in my faith plagued many of my days, even a decade into being a Christian.
The Disconnect between
·Jesus’ portrayal of life within His Kingdom,
·how the believers lived in the New Testament
· –and my life,
couldn’t be denied.
All I wanted was to be consistent in my faith so that I could live a life honoring Christ.
My Love was growing luke warm because I didn’t know how to develop relationship with the One who was supposed to be my whole world.
There was a longing for more.
But, I didn’t know how to let Him cultivate that hunger, so I began to look for other “loves” to fill what I perceived as lacking.
Sure, I’d have occasional Splashes of Connection with Him- and those were what I lived for:
- ♥ Moments of clarity during worship when I was more certain than anything that God was real and I was enfolded into His Love.
- ♥ When reading a Scripture and it would “stand out” on a page and I knew He’d made it personal and applicable for me.
But, these “moments” weren’t frequent enough to keep my heart nourished.
Life had its way of drawing my attention back to the most immediate & pressing concerns of the moment and I’d lose the clarity of my faith.
By 2011, I almost turned my heart completely from God.
Seven years later. ∗(You can read my in-depth testimony here.)
In the midst of
〉 raising and homeschooling 3 young boys,
〉 enduring through chronic pain and fatigue,
〉 working through four years of ministry school…
God taught me to experience eternal life in a way that produced Life-giving fruit consistent with the kingdom of God on a daily basis.
I was learning to cultivate healthy heart soil that developed fortitude, aka consistency.
The hardest part: Letting go of a lot of typical Christian culture that wasn’t even producing a Christlike heart, so that I could finally know and believe Christ enough to have real and durable transformation.
2018, God was giving me several in-the-night-dreams instructing me to start a blog.
I didn’t even know what a blog was… (pretty late to the game, I know.)
⇒ But, I instantly knew the “who”.
This blog is for women who love God as much as they know how.
They are Devoted yet too often feel…
•Far from God
•Ashamed because they feel they should be “doing better”.
Whatever the spectrum of the symptoms, it all hurts when your motives feels pure:
to Love God with all your heart, mind, soul & strength- and, yet, you still “can’t” sustain a consistent walk that you feel is fruitful.
God was calling me to share the same Mindset shifts that Transformed me as a Believer and
- ♥ Established me in my relationship with Him,
- ♥ I no longer felt lacking,
- ♥ Gave me the desires of my heart: to better love Him, myself, and be the woman, wife and mother I knew I was created be.
. . . of doubt and despair used to be part of my everyday life.
Now those dark days are simply part of the testimony of how far God has brought me into a life marked by Light- full of hope, peace, and certainty in God and myself as His truly.
I’m eternally grateful for God bringing me through it all.
Now, I get to help Devoted Christian Women break free from the high-highs and low-low’s kind of Christianity so that she can attain the deepest desire of her heart: to know God & grow in Christlikeness.
∗ P.S. Click Here to Read my In-Depth Testimony if you’d like to read the original “About Ashlynn” page.